The Online Persona vs. the Actual Self

By Pierce K. Kozlowski

Who are you?

People are simply, in most cases, not who they present themselves to be, especially in the cases of influencers and how it influences the posting behavior of those who are influenced. A fantastic example of this is the supremely unrealistic standards of perfection promulgated by social media. In a TedTalk last year (2022), guest speaker Sophia Shi articulated this exact point, mentioning the wide range of expectations she saw set by social media, ranging from perfect grades to lavish travel to perfect physical presentation. Per her own testimony, this had prevented her from posting for two years as a young adolescent because she felt pressured to meet or exceed these standards and felt that she hadn’t the means to do so. 

This changed when she discovered a Photoshop app and posted a heavily edited version of herself that satisfied her now self-imposed expectations created by social media – that is, unrealistic expectations of what seemed to be perfection. Upon researching more on the subject of social media photoshop, she realized how ubiquitous the practice was amongst influencers, and this set in, especially after seeing people comment on her own post, expressing the same admiration and insecurity she once did. As it turns out, taking north of fifty photos only to pick one that would end up requiring twenty or more minutes of editing, and having people believe it was real for the purposes of validation was not only backward but linked indirectly to negative self-worth, as the National University of Singapore found. Her takeaway, naturally, was to embrace yourself for all your seeming imperfections and who you are because perfection simply isn’t possible, and thus, isn’t real. You are unique. You are enough. Show up exactly as you are, and have no shame. 

The Take Away

Sophia’s story is an experience shared by millions across the digital medium, and without exhausting several other examples but keeping the same theme, we abstract the ethic of Sophia’s testimony which can apply to every facet of the online forums: the online persona of how someone presents is not always genuine to their actual self. This is not a profound axiom by any stretch. Regardless of this, the fact remains: online authenticity, especially amongst younger and more impressionable generations, is experiencing a sort of scarcity; arbitrary standards of perfection, driven by the desire to present the most idealistic impression of oneself, is more than likely abbreviating or circumscribing dimensions of their authentic self when they should be embracing it. However, as Sophia maintains and as common sense would tell us, the former hurts our positive sense of self while the latter promotes it. For this reason, while people may manufacture themselves to the detriment of their self-wroth, the health of how people view themselves can be improved only when they begin to lovingly accept themselves as they are and not as they foolishly wish to be. 

Editor's Note: All sources are linked within the body of the text.